Greater Turdmaster
Personally, I'd rather be a nameless bum, drinking Night Train on the side of some god-forsaken turnpike than save THAT from extinction.
No, even better: I'd rather perpetuate a system where guys like this get drafted into some sort of group where they are likely to get turned into this:
Hey! I know, I'll join the GOP
(It's late, I dunno... hatred for humanity out of control)